Confession

Confession: I feel very sad. Because sometimes timelines don’t match up etc. etc. and my heart is a little broken. Today feels particularly heavy for a couple different reasons (one of which is just my body and the chemicals in it! So fun!) The person who I am missing doesn’t read this blog so I figure it’s safe to share just a bit on here.

I’m very sad.

A few years back I remember a similar type of sadness, and I chose to counter it by exercising 1-2x a day (endorphins), so I’m back at that now. I’m also not feeling guilty about drinking sodas right now, because soda brings me joy, so I’m doing it. And I’m trying to put more focus on my scripture study each night, because even though I’m feeling a little sad about how my life is feeling right now, I’d rather be with God than without Him.

I’m very tired and I’m very sad, but I’m doing my very best.

Tender mercies:

  • A last minute trip down to Las Vegas for work, and using the money I earned to get myself a nice room at a resort. That was the first time in a week and a half that I felt some peace.

  • A trail run last week that resulted in a very funny story that you can ask me about sometime.
  • Literally 10 minutes after finding out that a part of our family can’t attend Thanksgiving dinner, I ran into an aunt who I haven’t seen in a couple years at a gas station, found out that they have no plans for the holiday yet, and was able to invite them.

  • 10 minutes after that, I decided to treat myself to my favorite apple fritter. The woman at the drive thru window said they had ONE left, and it was kind of crumbly, so I could have it for free. I told her it made my day!—and I think that made HER day too!

  • Spending time with my dear friend Erika. Regular messages and calls from Kathryn. Support and check ins from Jason.